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A Muslim's Guide to Understanding Online Trolling

Guide to Facebook Arguments (and online ridiculousness in general)

A Muslim’s Guide to Understanding Online Trolling

And you thought parking in the middle of New York City was bad? You 'aint seen NOTHING yet.

Masjid Parking Syndrome

And you thought parking in the middle of New York City was bad? You ‘aint seen NOTHING yet.

A complete guide to understanding why no one came to your MSA event.

The Science of Islamic Event Attendance

A complete guide to understanding why no one came to your MSA event.

What does it feel like to witness someone die before your very eyes...?

I Saw Her Die

What does it feel like to witness someone die before your very eyes…?

Yeah... it's a terrible hijab pun. We know.

Online Clinic Session 1: A Hijab Well Done

Yeah… it’s a terrible hijab pun. We know.

Sometimes the best Eid gifts aren't the ones that cost thousands of dollars. HAH! Please. Those are always the best ones.

Guide to Giving Eid Gifts

Sometimes the best Eid gifts aren’t the ones that cost thousands of dollars. HAH! Please. Those are always the best ones.

Believe it or not- your chubbiness is NOT the kinda dawah that kindles interest in Islam.

Guide to Healthy Ramadan Weight Loss

Believe it or not- your chubbiness is NOT the kinda dawah that kindles interest in Islam.

What does a Muslim become when his mind is taken from him...?

The Schizophrenic Muslim

What does a Muslim become when his mind is taken from him…?

Prom- it's like watching High School Musical, only more torturous.

Guide to Rejecting Prom Advances

Prom- it’s like watching High School Musical, only more torturous.

Featured Medical Entries

6March 12, 2012
Guide to Facebook Arguments (and online ridiculousness in general)

A Muslim’s Guide to Understanding Online Trolling
5January 8, 2012
Masjid Parking Syndrome

And you thought parking in the middle of New York City was bad? You ‘aint seen NOTHING yet.
16October 18, 2011
The Science of Islamic Event Attendance

A complete guide to understanding why no one came to your MSA event.
4September 22, 2011
I Saw Her Die

What does it feel like to witness someone die before your very eyes…?
2September 11, 2011
Online Clinic Session 1: A Hijab Well Done

Yeah… it’s a terrible hijab pun. We know.
3August 28, 2011
Guide to Giving Eid Gifts

Sometimes the best Eid gifts aren’t the ones that cost thousands of dollars. HAH! Please. Those are always the best ones.
7August 6, 2011
Guide to Healthy Ramadan Weight Loss

Believe it or not- your chubbiness is NOT the kinda dawah that kindles interest in Islam.
9June 21, 2011
The Schizophrenic Muslim

What does a Muslim become when his mind is taken from him…?
2June 10, 2011
Guide to Rejecting Prom Advances

Prom- it’s like watching High School Musical, only more torturous.

Muslim Med's Picks

Guide to Facebook Arguments (and online ridiculousness in general)

Posted on March 12, 2012 | 6 Comments
A Muslim's Guide to Understanding Online Trolling
Continue Reading...
Masjid Parking Syndrome

Posted on January 8, 2012 | 5 Comments
And you thought parking in the middle of New York City was bad? You 'aint seen NOTHING yet.
Continue Reading...
The Science of Islamic Event Attendance

Posted on October 18, 2011 | 16 Comments
A complete guide to understanding why no one came to your MSA event.
Continue Reading...
I Saw Her Die

Posted on September 22, 2011 | 4 Comments
What does it feel like to witness someone die before your very eyes...?
Continue Reading...
Online Clinic Session 1: A Hijab Well Done

Posted on September 11, 2011 | 2 Comments
Yeah... it's a terrible hijab pun. We know.
Continue Reading...
Guide to Giving Eid Gifts

Posted on August 28, 2011 | 3 Comments
Sometimes the best Eid gifts aren't the ones that cost thousands of dollars. HAH! Please. Those are always the best ones.
Continue Reading...
Guide to Healthy Ramadan Weight Loss

Posted on August 6, 2011 | 7 Comments
Believe it or not- your chubbiness is NOT the kinda dawah that kindles interest in Islam.
Continue Reading...
The Schizophrenic Muslim

Posted on June 21, 2011 | 9 Comments
What does a Muslim become when his mind is taken from him...?
Continue Reading...
Guide to Rejecting Prom Advances

Posted on June 10, 2011 | 2 Comments
Prom- it's like watching High School Musical, only more torturous.
Continue Reading...

Welcome to Muslim Medicine!

Welcome to Muslim Medicine- the very first Islamic Online Medical Clinic where the self-proclaimed physicians are board-certified in malpractice and the medical advice offered is ridiculously idiotic. We here at Muslim Medicine believe in one fundamental aspect of healing- that laughter is the best medication.
Previous Medical Entries

HEY! YOU! Got something to say? Shout it here!
Last Message
2 days, 13 hours
ago
- Info : Please, resolve the addition below before post any new comment...
- Dr. O : Haha! Thank you for your feedback, old MM fan, and for your rebuttal, guest 4276! You're right, I do cross-post a few articles from here to Muslim Matters, since I'm a regular contributor there as well. As for the aim of this site, it most certainly is a site for one particular Muslim medical student to share his thoughts, experiences, and reflections for everyone to read and share. Alhamdulillah, I put quite a lot of thought and preparation into it, so I do apologize if it comes off a bit stale
- Dr. O : lalalalegolas, insha'Allah I most certainly will be posting a new article very soon, insha'Allah! And yes, Guest_4525, it'll be a reflection piece!
- Dr. O : MontrealHABS, wa alaikum salaam! I do apologize, but I'm not a hockey fan, unfortunately. But hey- good looks repping Canada!
- Daffodil : your articles not funny at all. They just make me laugh hysterically in the library
- Guest_4276 : are the only one so far to show dissent. It's just a website separate from muslimmatters. MM uses some of the articles on here that's all
- Guest_4276 : Lol you
- old MM fan : *regular
- old MM fan : Hi/salams, just wondering what the aim of this site is? is it for muslim drs to share experiences and jokes etc? or just part of the fegular mm site with a supposedly medical twist? it just seems slightly stale and maybe not well thought out..sorry!
- Guest_4525 : And check out: «link»
- Guest_4525 : Do more thoughts and reflections! :)
- lalalalegolas : you go to darul islah. write more articles or i will hunt you down and force you to (well not really because im a girl and thats kinda haramish so i could always hire others to do it for me)
- Guest_2368 : ive read everything here, please~ I NEED MY NEW DOSE OF MUSLIM MEDICINE~
- MontrealHABS : Assalamu Alaykum:) Keep up the good work. Impressive. Sorry, I just have to ask this, are you a hockey fan? If so, then what team? (Just saying...Montrea l Canadiens rock) ;)
- Dr. O : Sure. Sr. Fatima! Thanks for the suggestion! AND YES TOOLITERAL, YOU MUST VIRTUALLY SHOUT IN THE SHOUT BOX. And thanks for the link, Muhammad!
- MUHAMAMD : Salam Alikim Thanks for amazing article, Also if you allow me to share a nice website its include a lot of new articles a bout Islam «link» Thanks
- tooliteral : WE'RE SUPPOSED TO VIRTUALLY SHOUT IN THE SHOUT BOX, NO? COULD HAVE SWORN THAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS...
- Fatima : If you also started writing articles about topics concerned with the youth nowadays, that would also be really cool!!
- Dr. O : Haha! Thank you very much, Sr. Fatima! Wish you the best with high school! AND YES DR. F, I'LL HAVE A NEW ONE SOON, INSHA'ALLAH!
- Dr. F : NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW ARTICLE.
- Dr. F : NEW ARTICLE
- Dr. F : im gonna keep bothering you until you write a new one
- Dr. F : write a new article!!!!!!
- Dr. F : Salamz
- Fatima : Gueset_3610, he isn't making fun of religions, he merely gives examples that others understand... which tends to be jokes, but we still get it.
- Fatima : «email»
- Fatima : so thanks! :)
- Fatima : LOL, I love the prom article! I'm at a time where all of my white girl friends are telling me to go to prom, get a date and whatnot, so it's nice to know how to reject people... I don't wear the hijab, but you gave me some pretty good ideas!!!
- Dr. O : I appreciate your concern Guest_3610, but I think you misunderstand my purpose. I mean absolutely no disrespect to Islam nor to any other faiths. I lampoon the not-so-Islamic things that Muslims do as a form of satire and parody. By laughing at oneself does one realize one's own mistakes and shortcomings.
- Guest_3610 : its not funny to make fun of religouses so stop it or ur gonna go to hell
- Asma : Hahahah, just read the latest blog post - funny! Keep up the good work Omar ;) And wow...what awkward comments below me. Don't forget your Haya girls - Haya!!
- Guest_856 : HELP!!! My beard has kidnapped me!!!!
- Dr. O : Sheesh... so many trolls all over this shoutbox. Aww well, I'd rather have trolls hang around here than spambots, I guess.
- Queen Elizabeth : Dr. O, why don't you come down to my palace and I will give you a personal tour of my shoe collection.
- obsessivecompulsiv : Your girlfriend needs to learn how to spell...
- Omar's Girlfriends : I love you Omar! I can't wait for you to become a rich Doctor to that you can finally support my shopping OCD. <3
- Troll_boogers : Dr. O, when you become an attending, can I date you? I would most likely be a 3rd year medical student and I may or may not be asking this only to get a LOR.
- Why did I do a Mat : First of all, at the end of each article, you should add more hadith/ayahs pertaining to the topic. Furthermore, offer a solution or an advice to make the reading more beneficial. Math is the tool of the devil.
- Dr. O : My apologies! And yes, we do deliver. New articles in 30 minutes or less, or your delivery order is free.
- iamnotastalker : i would appreciate it if you spelled my name properly. there was an aqeekah for the name and everything. also, nice response time. do you deliver??
- Dr. O : iamnostalker, your complaint is duly noted, and I have immediately addressed it. Please refer to the newest article we've JUST released!
- iamnotastalker : okay, i can only read, reread, rereread, rerereread, and rererereread these articles and comments so many times. i need some new material that i can bust your chops on. taratari kor moorgi.
- solvitolol : Greetings again Dr. O: I have launched Phase 1 trials concerning the treatment of "crouching brother, hidden stalker syndrome" among MSA members who stalk each other on facebook but never come to MSA events. This study is the first of it's kind in that both the test and control group consist of cadavers that cannot see which makes it randomized, controlled and double-blinded. Results forthcoming in the next issue of the Journal of Intellectually Challenged Nonsense (JICN). submit your manuscript
- Sabah Shams : your welcome, brother :)
- Dr. O : A mouthful of hot chilies will not only burn on the way down, but it'll also give you one of the most painful wudu-losing experiences a few hours later. It's medically sound to just munch on the tablecloth or chew on your dad's beard to whet your appetite.
- Guest_3943 : It seems that I always get a mouthful of hot chilis at every desi wedding I attend. Is there a way to avoid this? I get really hungry at these weddings after all the waiting!
- Dr. O : Ameen! Thanks, Sr. Sabah! Much appreciated!
- Sabah Shams : thanks Dr. 0, for testing our mathematical skills, by this captha. anyways, love the recent blog post =D KEEP IT UP, may Allah bless you with hikmah and all the success
- Guest_1440 : This is sooo cool!
- Dr. O : 1079... sleep is so overrated. Why go to bed at 4 when you can go for a world record and stay up for a week?
- Guest_1079 : I seem to have trouble getting up for fajr. I'm sure it has nothing to do with me going to bed at 4, right?
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